i feel so sad and emo today... feel like rejected by people. the feeling of not getting known by friends. not accepted and been ignored. this feeling is terrible. not good at all. my mood can go up and down very drastic and i do not know how to maintain the good mood of it. i can be so hyperactive and then so down at one point which i do not like it. i cant control it.
what have i done to deserve this treatment and this attitude? yea, sometimes, i might treat you bad and i do not realise it. but i really feel down about this. i feel like most of the time when i was down is because of U! why u impact me so much?
last monday we learnt about the story of Ruth and Boaz. find favour. so hard to be Boaz to someone. totally extinct d this kind of person. only God can do it. i find it so hard to have favour on someone and even when we are begging or pleasing them, it turn out to be one side love. the other person does not have favour upon you and dun even want to bother you. that's hurt. really hurt..
Dear God, help me to be who i am. Your precious daughter. maybe what i want to be is not according to Your will but let me not to be distracted by someone who is not worth it.
*desperate to get rid of the negative emotion right now*
:'(
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